I spend my days helping people work through conflict. I’m not sure how I got here. As the last sibling in the bunch, I learned to be a professional conflict avoider. Luckily, many of my friends are lovers of conflict and have taught me how to handle conflict. The following synopsis on conflict is a pep talk for me. I hope you find it helpful too.

 

If you are a conflict avoider, read on. Take notes.

 

If you are a conflict embracer, read on. Critique and send helpful comments along.

 

1) Conflict is.

 

It will not go away. Our job is simply to maneuver through it and around it, rather than work to eliminate it.

 

2) People are scared of conflict. 

 

It could be their birth order, a childhood memory, or the mere conflict load (stress) they have in their life. Response to this fear is often denial or avoidance. Masters of conflict feel the fear and do it anyway. 

 

3) Conflict is created by oppositional views.

 

I’m a relationship/strategic thinker. (My strengths are: Input, Connectedness, Learner, Intellection, and Empathy.) I revel in finding connections, uncovering new things to help humans live easier, putting our ideas into words, helping people put emotion in perspective, and reminding people of the big picture. I get stuck in my ideas and lack checkmarks next to my tasks.

Many of my colleagues are strong in getting things done. (Thank goodness!) They drive process. They put things in logical order. They organize and calculate. They communicate clearly about operational needs. Rumination is not in their DNA. They (gently) coach strategic or stuck people how to get things done. Sometimes they check things off a bit too soon or struggle to see a non-linear way. 

We have opposing views. We butt heads over how to process our work. Many days this uncomfortable existence with each other tests our stamina and spirit.

 

4) The pressure of opposing views creates amazing things.

 

The soul of our product is to reinvent how to get things done.

 

Some days we want nothing more than to work with a soft cushy brain similar to our own. But we know from experience that if we go for cushy, we don’t solve anything that matters. If we hang with only one type of brain, we lack the dimension of our oppositional team.

 

In order to reinvent, we have to oppose each other. We challenge the status quo and wrestle renegade ideas from our separate corners. The more we invite conflict into the room, the more amazing our products become.

 

I love conflict. It brings spark to my life.