If you are like many married entrepreneurs, the business you are running is not your first adventure. Your spouse is already battle-torn and you just jumped into your current business without full buy-in from your spouse.

Getting your spouse’s complete buy-in is one of the most important strategies you can carry out as a business owner.

Your spouse is your toughest “board member”, i.e. the one you avoid. Combining fear-free and risk-averse personalities does not make it easy to share news of the business. Bringing up business topics can feel like Custer’s Last Stand. But just like anything, avoidance only delays the inevitable. The conflict image in your head (and only in your head) grows nastier with every passing minute.

What does full buy-in look like?

• Because they love you, they want you to be in business for yourself because it is your passion and makes you happy.
• Because you have spent time explaining your vision, they are willing to believe in you and take the risks necessary to help you achieve your goals.
• Because you are comfortable discussing your business together, they are a safe sounding board and can offer a soft place to be when you are feeling the “lonely leader syndrome”.

Sounds like a dream doesn’t it? To reach this dream-like state, you must be persistent.

Where do you go from here to get full buy-in?

Listening to each other and talking things out is the only way. Make it your highest priority to start the conversation about your business with your spouse. And when you do, be on your best behavior: be humble and honest, admit your mistakes, listen, teach, and accept their feelings (don’t try to convince them to feel something else). When you end each conversation, be sure they know that you couldn’t do it without them.

Set a time and agenda for these conversations. Springing a conversation on your spouse over breakfast on a Saturday just might set your weekend aflame. Planning it out, gives them time to think it through, and requires you to think it through rather than shoot from the hip.

How long will this process take?

The amount of effort, time, and repetition you will need to put in is dependent on how long you’ve operated in a single-owner mindset.

As you begin these conversations, be prepared for resistance and lots of anger. I don’t know a single confident entrepreneur that hasn’t crossed the “my business is more important than your concerns” line a time or two (or a thousand). The road away from dysfunction is sped up by true, heartfelt humility and apologies. Stay calm and consistent with your message.

The bottomline:

The traction you will get from focusing on this important strategy will have pay-offs in more areas of your business and life than you can even imagine. If you don't have your spouse on your team yet, start right now.