You meet someone in business and life when you see what you perceive as an acute flaw. You can't help yourself and you launch a not-so-subtle time management tip like, “better never than late!” or seemingly harmless advice such as “you know my mom used to fold laundry like this."

We are always on the lookout for places to apply our expertise, thinking if I can change one person for the better, then my work here is done. Many act on those needs through unsolicited advice, and others do nothing while they still think and plot.

Sometimes you are even put in a position of trusted friend, advisor, or department manager which might seem like you have just been gifted with free rein of opinion spilling, correcting and conforming. Danger, danger! I'm going to share four points to consider before "helping" others change.

Involvement
When your team feels a part of the decision, more members willingly participate. Now just imagine if I started this article with, “I have three key traits for staff motivation which you must adhere to. If you don’t read this, I will come to your office and read it to you when I deem it convenient.” Even if they are simple tasks, feeling valued is key. Let your audience reach their own conclusion from the facts presented, instead of a forced result.

Trust
In his book the Little Teal Book of Trust, Jeffrey Gitomer presents the concept of trust like this: If the person presenting the decision, giving the advice, or making the change does not have the audience’s trust then acceptance of that advice will be meek. With that, it does not matter what initials are after your name or the length of time you have known your audience. Until you have trust, your advice is lightly noted in pencil and not a sharpie marker.

Strengths
Like a tarot card, the StrengthsFinder book by Tom Rath unlocks the secret motivational tools needed to successfully empower and engage your team. If the person you are working with has a heavy need for data, then giving them a quick overview of an issue will not turn into acceptance of the change (Input). If someone excels in getting things done before the email is sent (Activator), then notifying them of a task that is three months away will torture them. Each person has their own motivators, that are directly tied to their strengths.
What motivates you, does not motivate everyone. Knowing how to unlock these traits will help you apply change and improvement throughout your life and business.

Options
When possible offer several options that will reach the same result. People love and expect choices. Gone are the days of only having black cars (Ford: “You can have any color you want as long as it is black.”). People want to know there are ten ways to get out of debt, there are hundreds of healthy food choices, and we can increase profits by cutting back one of three choices. Even if there is really only one obvious choice for success, even simply listing other choices will improve the chance of acceptance.

“Sometimes you’re the pigeon, and sometimes you’re the statue” rings true in management and being a personal advisor. When you are the one presenting the change, blaming the messenger is usually eminent. When your team feels pigeonholed, resistance is predictable. With the tools listed above, your chances of being viewed as a valued leader and trusted problem solver are eminent as well.