I am 40 years old and still trying to figure it out. Each day I get closer. Finding out what motivates you and point you to your passion. A life-changing concept I have learned is what my primary language is once I read Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages. His book teaches you how to fuel not only your primary needs but the needs of others to make them and you feel wanted, needed, and respected. I use the principles in his book with my kids, family members, co-workers, and friends. Since I started using this book with my teenage children, I have seen a dramatic change in their behavior.

We all have each language in us. Understanding which you language you have to speak and receive each day to fuel you gives you a map to navigate life with yourself and others. For example, if you would love nothing more than to have someone cook dinner, clean up dinner, and handle the chores for the night, your number one language is probably ‘Acts of Service’. Or, if you want someone to spend time with you and have their undivided attention at dinner, your number one language is probably ‘Quality Time’. ‘Words of Affirmation’ language speakers are fueled by compliments so you would rather have someone say thank you and how wonderful dinner was than have them cook it for you. Maybe you would like them to buy you dinner, or receive gifts either big or small, that shows you are known and cared for, ‘Receiving Gifts’ might be at the top. The final language is ‘Physical Touch’ which could be hugs, hand holding, or pats on the back.

What you do, how you act towards others, and understanding what makes you feel loved will give you the clues you need to know your number one language. My number one is ‘Acts of Service’ and my kids know that doing their chores makes me happy. I have one child that needs me to spend undivided attention with them to feel happy and loved. The other child feels happy and loved when I compliment them on a job well done or simply reminding them how wonderful they are.

Through this analysis, I have confirmed for myself that one of my callings is to help people. I need to focus on work that fulfill that passion for me because ‘Acts of Service’ is my number one. Using this book’s concept has brought clarity to what makes me happy – or not and sped up my process to becoming what I want to be when I grow up. Take a chance on this book and see what it does for your life.