Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you had made different choices? If you had one chance to go back would you change anything? I wonder what my life would be like if I would not have gotten married and had kids at the young age of 20. I wonder if I would have finished college and pursued a high-paying job. Then I think about what kind of person I would be if I had not gone through everything that has brought me here today.

When I play the ‘what if’ game, a few things I think might be different are I would have  been free to do what I want when I want, no husband to hurt me, no dirty diapers to change, no calls from the school principal, no using vacation time from work for sick kids and actually taking a vacation for me, no teaching a teenager to drive and seeing your life flash before your eyes when they hit the gas instead of the brake, no one needing money for clothes, gas, movies, sports, college, car accidents. No sitting on the couch physically and mentally exhausted and crying for hours into a pillow so no one hears you. No wondering if you have taught your children everything they need to know to survive on their own.

Would I be money hungry, traveling, stuck-up or lonely? I have no idea nor do I want to know. 

What I do know is I love my kids and could not imagine life without them. I do not regret any of it because it has made me the person I am today. I believe that everything happens for a reason and you figure out what lesson you are supposed to learn from it and move on. The lessons I have learned have made me thoughtful of others who are going through the same issues and I can provide comfort to them. I learned that I am a strong amazing independent woman and I can overcome anything. I learned that everything is temporary, whether it’s good or bad, and you will make it through.

I have given myself permission to be angry, cry and forgive myself for my decisions in life. There is no handbook on life or being a parent especially a single parent and I have come to the conclusion that there isn’t one because we all have to create our own and no one way works for everyone. You have to do what is right and true to you and don’t give up your inner power to anyone else. Use it to become great and learn from your past. If you have made difficult choices in your past, join the club. Everyone makes them; just accept them and move on. You are not able to go back, so go forward. Be grateful for everything you have now. Life is an amazing thing when you step up and live it. What are you waiting for?